Romance and Our Finances

For perhaps as long as love has been a part of human society, currency or trade have also played their parts; the two often cross paths, for better or worse and make for an interesting look at two of the most highly sought after fundamentals of our world. 

Buying love with money: Phrasing the idea in such blunt terms is often a little off putting for many individuals who believe that love isn't for sale. A gift given from person to another is not always the result of great expense, or in some cases any monetary expense at all, however in a world where the phrase time is money exists how can one eliminate the idea that a certain amount of affection or approval has just been, for all intents and purposes, purchased? It can be difficult to determine a person's feelings for another where money is involved. Most people would agree that gifts are a healthy expression of individuals' feelings, but would at the same time be offended by the idea that love can be purchased for the right price. If we look back not too many years ago, at a world where women in particular, though not exclusively, found that without the aid of a husband or relative they were nearly unable to support themselves it is easy to understand how such feelings could indeed be purchased. 

Considering the level of poverty so many people shared, the idea that a person could break free from such living conditions through the generosity (or sometimes just lust,) of another person would have extreme and lasting emotional consequences. In many cases, a prosperous marriage meant not only that a woman would never go hungry again, but that her family would also be provided for. While in some of these examples real love may have originated without the involvement of wealth; many of them were simply a trade, beautiful daughter or son, in exchange for financial security. In some cases this would be referred to as lust not love, but for many people the overwhelming sense of desire can easily be perceived as just such an emotion. Where some of these relationships may have begun with a pretty face or attractive body, the desire to take care of and provide for an individual suggests feelings that run a little deeper than pure desire. Though the idea may not be particularly appealing to many, it does beg the question: can love be bought? 

Lust for sale? Amoral to some and illegal in many places the concept of buying a little physical action from a person for a set price is one of the oldest topics of debate throughout the world. Whether you believe it wrong or right, or simply don't think about it, purchasing desire has been widely available in every country throughout the world as far back as any records can show. While lust does not share many of the same feelings with love it has certain powerful qualities that have driven many men and women to reach deep into their pocket books. In this case the person making the purchase is unlikely to invoke feelings of love from the person they are paying, but is it possible that some emotional attachment, some facsimile of love will come with it? Though it might be in many ways false love, the illusion can be extremely convincing. This is example of just how convincing can be seen in the well known gold digger, though perhaps not a very flattering term to use the concept is quite accurate: a person who marries are aligns themselves with another person who has the means to care for them, in many cases more than care for, providing substantial wealth. 

Though some might say there is a difference between a prostitute and a person who marries for money, it can be difficult to know where the line is drawn. On the other hand, a person who is attracted to another, at least in part, because that person could provide a comfortable, even lavish lifestyle, can hardly be blamed for finding the prospect appealing. Is it wrong to be attracted to a person for their money? Is it wrong to use your wealth in an attempt to attract others? These questions are ages old and yet still without definite answers from almost every society. Putting legalities aside, for most reasonable people it presents quite problem: is it fair to judge others for how they wish to live their lives? Most would say no. On the other hand the idea of selling sex for money has for many years been associated with other illegal and sometimes dangerous activities that tend take place in the same locations. Amoral or not, it is a true reflection of our growth as a society that these desires often outweigh logic; whether for or against, the emotional response is usually one sided and without thought to the oppositions' feelings or opinions. 

Money and relationships: It has been recorded numerous times that one of the most common reasons for couples splitting up is finance. Some attempt to avoid this issue by keeping separate bank accounts and treating the relationship, in terms of money, more like a roommate situation than a romantic one. In other situations one person entirely supports another financially while the other remains at home, perhaps attending school, pursing a creative profession or even more commonly to raise a family. However you and your partner have decided to address your financial decisions during stressful moments problems can be difficult to avoid. A few tips to keep in mind when dealing with this issue:

• Financial difficulty cannot always be attributed to one or both people; in certain situations it can be extremely difficult to deal with poverty or limited funds, remember not to place blame simply because the situation is frustrating. 
• If trying to cut back on overspending, remember to cut on equal sides; it can be a stressful endeavor to eliminate certain excess from your life, remember that your partner feels the same way about their own. 
• However terrible the situation, try to find things to laugh about with each other, it won't be easy but it can help to create a feeling of unity. 
• If one person is supporting another and this situation met with approval on both sides, don't throw blame out simply because financial problems have occurred by reminding a person that they are not bringing an income into the relationship, especially for those that accomplish a great deal at home, though it might not be paid work, it can be extremely hurtful and will not be forgotten even if the situation improves. 
• Do not try to hide financial problems from your significant other; often these issues are much better to face as a solid unit and a great deal of stress can be eliminated by sharing the burden.
• Forcing your partner to bear the positive attitude so that you can continue to panic or sulk is also unhelpful; regardless of your usual dynamic, try to be strong for your partner in these unhappy times. 
• When possible, if nothing can be done at the time to correct the situation, seek distraction with your partner, putting distance, at least temporarily between your relationship and finances. 

Will the ties between money and love ever come to an end? Most likely not, as long as our society continues to include both aspects in it. To keep one from injuring the other requires patience, understanding and at times, accepting what you don't understand. The long history for both weaves an intricate web of human development that is still just as alluring and confusing today as it was thousands of years ago.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Alison_Sardelli/203131

Contracts and Agreements - How to Protect Your Finances

This article is about contracts and agreements e.g. rental agreement, mortgage agreement, loan from family member or friend, credit card agreement, hire purchase agreement etc... and what you should be looking for to protect yourself and your assets. 

These are the kinds of agreements that affect most of us whether we have limited funds or a great deal of money. 

Whether we are making these contracts and agreements with people we love and trust or whether we are making them with strangers. There are some simple rules of thumb that we should all be looking at as they apply to most of us. 

Historically, most countries did not recognise women's rights to own property. You could not get a mortgage or credit without your husband's permission. 

If you wanted to know about money, we were told not to worry our pretty little heads - so it became the man's job to worry about money and the woman's job to take care of his personal needs and to be the heart of the house. He worked, he provided for their needs, she took care of the children, the household chores and her husband's needs. Consequently when a husband died or divorced her or just disappeared, she was left not knowing how to balance a chequebook, not knowing what her mortgage rates were, or how responsible she was for paying that mortgage down. She had no knowledge of insurance and was often left without insurance coverage for herself and her family. As far as her car was concerned, she knew how to put the key in the ignition and get to the nearest service station.

 Nowadays, women are in top positions in corporations but many of us still have our husband's making the major decisions on things like insurance, mortgage rates, investments, medical coverage and pension plans. 

It still occurs that when a woman gets into a relationship, she's always given her husband/partner dominion over her assets. 

She could come into a marriage with a house completely in her name and once she gets married and he wants to be put on the title to it, she doesn't question it. 

Women are also known to take the softer view. I love him, everything we have is ours. We share and share alike. I should be putting the house in both of our names. WRONG, wrong, wrong. 

If he wants to be put on the title, or you want him to be put on the title, get 3 evaluations of the house and let him give you his share of the money for that house. After all if you are going into a business partnership and someone wants to buy into your business, you would have your business valued at current prices, and that partner would have to buy in cash at the current value. A house is no different. Once he is on that title, he can do anything with that house, he can take out loans against it, and he can walk out on you, or he can mortgage it to the hilt and die leaving you with debt. 

The same can be true of a man who owns property, but men usually cover themselves with pre-nuptial agreements. Us women, historically have not been that smart. However, we have got smarter in recent years, generally our emotions are engaged so quickly and so deeply, we often have to be reminded to protect our assets. 

The same thing holds true if you own your own house and your spouse wants you to sell it so that you can move into a larger place - once again, that partner should be compensating you with the value of his or her share of the house before you sell it. Because if the marriage falls apart, either way you would lose out because when it comes to a division of assets - you only own half of the new house and none of the house that you had in your own name before the partnership. 

For example, I knew someone who had her own home that she had bought with her own money and had been living there for a number of years and that house was almost paid off. Then she got married. The new husband moved in. A few months later, he decided he didn't want to live in that house. He wanted them to sell it and live in another house. After their divorce 15 years later, all she was able to get was half of the new house and nothing of the house that she had originally. When you are dealing with monies, even if you are in a deep relationship, with a family member, a friendship, your spouse and you trust the other person deeply. You have had a lot of experience over the years and you think to yourself that you don't need a written agreement - think again. You can never tell if or when the other person is going to back off and leave you with the debts and responsibilities or if the other person is going to sell off their half of the partnership leaving you unprotected. 

You may trust this person wholeheartedly and may never had cause to doubt them - but circumstances can and often do change. For example, I knew a guy who had been having marital problems with his wife. All his money was tied up with hers and in their house. He was advised by a counsellor to start saving money in a different bank account from where he and his wife had an account, a bank she knew nothing about. On New Years Day after everyone had left after a party, she threw him out of the house and would not allow him to come back. Luckily, he had put some money aside in a separate bank account. Had he not done this, he would not have had the money for a month's deposit on a lease and he would have been out in the street. 

If you have a quote from a builder with materials included, their suppliers could go out of business, the builders costs could go up and your costs could go up accordingly. If you want to protect yourself on materials, open up an account at a builder's merchant so that you can buy the materials yourself and you can get the most competitive prices. That way, when your builder is quoting you prices for labour, you know you are just paying for labour and you can negotiate his labour costs, especially now when construction work is in such short supply.

So as you can see, on a personal and a professional level, you always need a written agreement. 

You can be in a romantic relationship or a marriage and all of a sudden your partner goes to the bank and draws all your money and you are left with all the debts. And no matter how much you love someone, where there is money involved, make sure everything is spelled out really well. Make sure your lawyer has covered everything and you are not leaving any loopholes. 

For example, I knew someone who had been married for 25 years and their only daughter was getting married. The wedding was very expensive and as soon as they got home from their daughter's wedding, she started preparing for bed. She sees her husband has a suitcase and he is emptying his drawers out into the suitcase. What are you doing? I am packing, I'm leaving you. I just wanted to wait until our daughter got married and was out of the house so I could leave you. I have found someone else. After 25 years of marriage, he just walked out and left her with a pile of debts. 

If you being asked to sign anything e.g. a husband of 30 years - make sure a lawyer checks the paperwork. Ensure that someone can explain it to you and don't be led like a lamb to the slaughter. In the end that partner may leave you, divorce you or die and may leave you with a lot of debt. You need to know what you are going to be responsible for. 

Another important point to remember is that if anyone wants you to sign papers quickly, your answer has to be NO. Don't ever allow yourself to be rushed into a financial agreement. No matter how good the deal might sound, you need time to assess whether it is right for you.

If you are ever asked to sign a lease, or a mortgage with your partner or spouse, make sure you understand it thoroughly. Make sure you can afford it. People have a tendency when they sign a lease or a mortgage to figure out how much they can afford to spend each month. What they DON'T calculate into these costs is a failing economy, or one or both of the partners being laid off or fired and they are out of work for an extended period of time and cannot find other employment. 

So if you are contemplating signing a lease or a mortgage with a partner, make sure you calculate it for just one income, because if you are basing it on two incomes in this economy you may find that you do not have enough money to cover the rent or the mortgage. 

Don't be embarrassed to tell your spouse or business partner that you want to speak to a lawyer to have him go over the fine print with you. When signing a legal document, many people don't bother to read the fine print - or if they do bother to read the fine print, they don't understand all the details. Wherever your money is being spent, that's where you need to be very vigilant about your role in protecting it. 

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Barbara_Goldsmith/416795