Money Disparity between Husband and Wife

When both partners work, share household duties and merge their salaries, you would think that these changes are for the better, for women. Unfortunately, not all of the changes are good as a large majority of women have received plenty of less desirable results. 

According to the Pew Research Center. Only 3.8% of women earned more than their partners back in 1960, but a 2020 TD Ameritrade survey found the number of female breadwinners had jumped to 21%. More than a quarter of women reported that they made as much as their male partners.

Studies also showed that when a women out-earns her husband, he is more likely to cheat. In fact, about 15% of the men in a study by the American Sociological Review.

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The sad fact is that when we earn more than our husbands, we experience more stress on the home front and all have claimed that making more money is hurting the marriage. 75% of us have said that we wished we weren't the breadwinner. The survey asked divorced women and 66% responded that making more money led to the divorce.  

Note, that Gender roles are changing in other ways as men are increasingly willing to pitch in around the home and many do dishes and cook the meals. However, when men are unwilling to participate in household and childcare duties even though they're earning less money than their wives, many marriages fail. 

In order to succeed in this situation, a couple needs to have a partnership in their marriage. Both spouses should have similar values regarding work and money management, and share household responsibilities equally. We need to converse prior to marriage with the expectation that the husband may not be the main breadwinner. 

In order to alleviate as much stress and tension as possible, couples should address their expectations for earning power. Historically, men associate their self-worth with how much money they earn, more than women do. If the wife is earning more, we deserve to have more say in how the money is managed. Many women need to negotiate this issue as it can be a taboo subject is some relationships. You need to align on how will the funds be handled differently? Will your household responsibilities change? If the wife is earning more money because she is spending more time at work, a couple seriously needs to discuss household and childcare responsibilities. In the end, what makes the most sense? It's not about women making all the decisions, but that couples are sharing the decision-making, now. 

A couple must agree that money doesn't equal power and their relationship is worth much more than either before they can adjust to the new model of marriage. By creating unambiguous marital roles and fully addressing all aspects of the family finances, especially how it is handled, you can survive the changing financial and employment landscape of today. In the end, it's about attitude, as opposed to the actual dollar amounts that cause the most conflict. If either spouse feels resentful or critical, it will eventually come to the forefront of any argument and ultimately destroy your marriage.